Sidney Angelo Dubose, 42

It pisses me off and makes me sad to hear people say they hate or don't talk to their fathers. How? Is my only question. No matter how different your views are or what he has or hasn't done, he's still your father. He's your one and only and life is too short for hate and anger towards someone that helped bring you into this world. I lost a great father, no, daddy, 2 years ago to non-sense and I never let "hate" come out my mouth towards him. I loved him with everything in me, even when we fought, I would give anything to have him here with me still. Even when he was away, he was still the best dad he could be, seeing as though he didn't know much abt how to be one or how to interact with a daughter let alone a child. Within our short time together, I learned more than enough. I learned most importantly about myself, through my daddy. Sidney DuBose was thee best daddy I could ever ask for and he was taken away from me too soon and I'm angry. My anger is based off of confusion. I'm angry at my dad for not walking away and thinking of me instead of his ego and I'm mad at the jerk that shot him because he took my daddy from me again. But even though I'm angry, I want nothing more than life in prison for his killer. Killing him would be a reward for what he did, and he should suffer just as my dad did for 8 years. I wish his killer could see my face at night when he closes his eyes, I wish he could hear my cries, or sense the pain in my heart everyday all day or even witness the slowing of my blood flow whenever I pass a mirror and I catch a glimse of my dad in my eyes. I don't hate his killer I'm just highly disappointed in him. But at the end of the day all I ever want is for my dad to still be here with me watching me grow and mature. But since that won't take place, I will continue to allow Sidney Angelo DuBose to rent a huge portion of my heart until God calls for me and we meet again..
- still a mourning daughter
I was told from day 1 of my dads death that it will get easier, and just like then, I don't believe it ever will. You will be slapped by reality that your parent is gone but it will never get easier. The more you grow the more you wish they were here. The more you mature the more you notice some of them in you. It getting easier is just something people say just to make you feel better. Word of advice, cry as much as possible, don't let it stay bottled up, and most importantly talk about your feelings, vent, let it all out and hopefully easier will find its way to your shattered heart & tape it back together....