Patrick R. McCaffrey Sr., 34

What is a Hero?

A man that gives himself at all times without questions
A man that takes the heavy load when no one else can
A man that makes every one around him feel special and important
A man everyone is proud to have known
A man that loves his family and thinks of them always
A man that runs to the aid of a fallen soldier
A man that is loved and respected by all that he meets
A man that is stronger than life itself
A man that no one will ever forget
A true Hero is Sergeant Patrick McCaffrey

Jeannette Sarla

...'I know that you saw the pictures of the
Abu Graib abuse-episode with the
prisoners and few bad US
soldiers....believe me, Mom, many of us
are ashamed of them, and they don't
deserve to wear our colors'

Sgt Patrick Ryan McCaffrey
June 2004

I Am PROUD to Have Known You

From Dan Nevins
Friend & Brother in Arms

My Brother,
we didn't talk much while serving together, but when we
did, there was always substance and the more I got to
know who you were at your core the more I respected you.

I would have loved to have you in my squad as I am sure
every squad leader would have. You always went above
and beyond and that is a testimony to what a great person
you were. I want to tell you that I feel that your sacrifice,
though tragic and untimely, was not in vain and history
will tell the tale much differently than it is in the present.
So, as you look down on the rest of us, I hope that you will
understand that. At least that is the way I feel.
You left too early to know, but on 10 Nov 2004, when
another of our brothers (SFC Mike Ottolini) paid the
ultimate sacrifice, I was severely injured in the same
explosion. I lost my left leg in the explosion and after 27
surgeries, after being evacuated to Walter Reed they were
able to save my right leg. Now, three years later, I am back
at Walter Reed having the right leg amputated. It was just
too much pain to deal with daily and the recurring bone
infections were "show stoppers". Now that I have had the
surgery on the 23rd of January 08, I feel much better, and
Hopefully I will be walking again soon.

I know that we have made our sacrifices for a just and
good reason, and I am PROUD to have known you and
served with you. I will ALWAYS remember you, as well as
Andre and Mike, in addition to all of those who made it
home on their own power, but have their continuing
battles that go unseen.

Again, Thank You for being the man who you were. I am
honored to have served in the same unit with you, in the
same Army, and for the Greatest Nation in the World, and
Proud to have fought with you as a brother in arms for a
cause that history will view as necessary and just. God
Bless you and yours.

Your Brother,

SSG (R) Dan Nevins

To the McCaffrey Family:

Although I didn't know Patrick, I can tell from everything I read in the paper of what a wonderful hero he was. As he lives on in all of our hearts and minds, he is the definition of what a true American is. Thank you Patrick for keeping us safe at home. We will never forget you.

Your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless Patrick and the entire McCaffrey family.

Mrs. McCaffrey - thank you for your efforts to bring us the truth as to what happened to your beloved son. I know it has to be excrutiating to keep reliving it over and over again, but the true story must be told. Keep up the great work!
Sharon Rossell (San Jose, CA)

I just read your story on cnn.com No bond is greater than that of mother and child. I know he watches over you all. Blessings and hope.

Dear Friend of Fallen Marine 9/3/2004
Lois Gareis (Annapolis, MD)

..."We bedded down in some worn out foxholes. Everyone was scared and confused. No one knew who the enemy was. Why are we out here? Night was coming and death would be all around us. The guys and I slept close together. Once night came there was artillery fire all over us. The once black sky was now covered with bullets and tracers. I was the only one to stay down. Their bodies dropped like bricks, one by one. I was too scared to return fire. Where would I fire, they were everywhere. What could I do? I waited till morning Why wasn't I dead? Why didn't they come and finish me off? Were they tormenting me? I awoke to my friend's dead faces. I cried in confusion. I didn't even bury them. I just ran away to nothing, when I arrived there I found no one except the emptiness in myself".....

Written by Patrick Ryan McCaffrey (1970-2004) at the age of 13 (1983)..."

"Nadia and Family, this message board is a wonderful thing. It has taken me awhile to truly put my thoughts together and memories to where I want to share of the love of a great friend. Patrick was one of my first friends and many who he knew later in his life may not have known him as I did when we were children. Patrick lived in the house behind my Grandma's in Sunnyvale on Roosevelt Street and always came to our family to share in with us and our parties, Christmas and Birthdays. Patrick and I would always play in Grandma's back bedroom with her multitude of thrift store toys that seemed like gold to us. We were friends, and the best kind of friends. Everytime My 2 Sisters Tammy and Wendy and my Cousin Kathy would be over Grandma would tell us to go into the back and get Patrick so he could join in the fun! Patrick always was a leader even as children, and so smart. He loved my Great Grandma and she loved him too. They always remembered Patrick at Chrsitmas with gifts, they loved him as their own. When Great Grandma died in March of 1985 Patrick and his Father Bob attended the funeral in San Jose and brought yellow roses, Great Grandma's favorite. He was always thoughtful and we have many happy memories of him in our childhood, always talented and speaking well of his Father and the many adventures traveling to see his Mother Nadia. He even gave me some Tahaitan Francs from one of his trips to which I still have and treasure to this day! He once had a yard sale and sold me a ventriliquist dummy to which at age 9 he wrote me out a receipt for the $7.00 I paid! He always knew how to take care and handle business, even as a child. I will always remember Patrick as a great childhood friend to which I share many memories and his dog LuLu!!!! His gentle Father Bob and beautiful Mother Nadia- My prayers are that God let him rest and that the world may know the sacrifice of this great person. My only goal is to continue to support Nadia in her efforts and Patrick's children in their future so they may know their Dad was a very awesome guy. My familys love to his."
Mark Nelson of Sacramento, California

Holding you all in my thoughts and prayers.

The Wind on The Downs

'I like to think of you as brown and tall,
As strong and living as you used to be,
In khaki tunic, Sam Brown belt and all,
And standing there and laughing down at me.
Because they tell me, dear, that you are dead,
Because I can no longer see your face,
You have not died, it is not true, instead
You seek adventure in some other place.
That you are round about me, I believe;
I hear you laughing as you used to do,
Yet loving all the things I think of you;
And knowing you are happy, should I grieve?
You follow and are watchful where I go.'

(Written by Marian Allen during World War l )

Two lines that I wish you to keep near your heart!!.

'You seek adventure in some other place.
That you are round about me, I believe'

I did not know Patrick, but I am remembering
his service. He is my hero. !

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Other Side

i'm over on the other side
where life and death softly divide.
left my skin and bones behind
now i'm over on the other side.

can you feel me there with you?
my breath is gone but i'm not through.
loved you then and i still do
from over on the other side.

i can fly. really fly.
below the earth ... all through the sky.
tell em all i did not die.
i'm just over on the other side.

it's good here on the other side.
the sweetest songs...the bluest skies.
thank you for the tears you cried
but it's good here on the other side.

i can fly. really fly. below the earth...all through the sky.
tell em all i did not die.
i'm just over on the other side

the world is smaller than a needle's eye.
where life and death softly divide.
when you leave your skin and bones behind
i'll be waiting on the other side.

i can fly. really fly. below the earth ... all through the sky.
go tell em all i did not die.
i'm just over on the other side.

Song lyrics by Don Conoscenti
C Desert Muse/SESAC
www.donconoscenti.com
(Used with permission)

'I hope it brings great comfort to any and all.
Peace on you. DonCon' 4-2008

The Other Side -
http://tinyurl.com/3o8gol

Sincerely,

Deb Estep ~ Ohio
Proud Air Force Mom and MIL

Remembering The Fallen - Blog
http://tinyurl.com/3z8p55

Angel and soldier drawing I have shared here.
http://tinyurl.com/6gey8b

Nadia,

I wanted to see how some of my old friends were doing. I specifically wanted to see how Pat was doing. When I saw his picture online, I recognized his eyes and thought Wow, he's looking pretty good. Then I read the caption beneath the photo and cried at work.
Pat was a good friend to me in junior high. I wish we had kept in touch over the years.
Its been four years since he passed away. Its been at least twice as long since Pat and I last spoke.
I remember when he got his car in high school, a burly sports car to replace his old compact import wanna-be. He pulled up into my parents driveway and got out, beaming with pride. The only bad thing about the car was that it didn't quite have the pick he was expecting. My dad took a look at it and tweaked the timing. The car immediately revved with a larger-than-life roar. Pat was in awe and gave my dad a hug and then gave me a ride.
I have many memories of him. I wish I could do more than just share them.
My condolences to you and Robert.

Jim Mahoney

I wanna to share my words about your Wonderful Son
To: nadiamccaffrey@gmail.com

Dear Mrs Mc Caffrey,

Well you don't know me but I was a friend of your
Son Patrick we were friends on line we would chat all the time. I just found out about his dead like a month ago
I was so in shock and could not believe when I seen the News on TV and they said his name and pic OMG the tears just started rolling down my face. I just got the courage to send you an email letting you know how Patrick was a blessing to know.
I know his Birthday is coming up this Sat.." Happy Birthday Patrick"" I
would always tell my friends I wonder how My friend Patrick is doing. I
used to pray for him all the time and I would send him cards and
emails and wonder why he never answer me back.. the last time I chat
with him on June 10, 2004 and he was saying he was tired and that is
was hot there.. Ms McCaffrey and I am so sorry to hear the lost of
your Wonderful Son Patrick. he was a very Loving and Caring Man &
Father we talk about each others lifes. he made me open my eyes
about my life he was a wonderful man and I will never forget your
son...

Thank you for letting me share with you
about how I knew your Wonderful Son
Marie K

In the Broad Daylight

By Steve Medina, US Army Veteran

If I die, please bring me home in the broad daylight Don’t sneak me home in the black of the night Just bring me home in the broad day light Wrap me up in red , white and blue Remember that, that I did for you Just bring me home in the broad daylight Have a band that plays just for me As I touch down on the home of the free Just bring me home in the broad daylight We who fight and we who die don’t even question why We just hope and we just pray that we kept you from harms ways Just send me home in the broad daylight If I die, please bring me home in the broad daylight Don’t sneak me home in the black of the night Just bring me home in the broad daylight Be proud of me and let my country see That I’ve come home or what’s left of me Just bring me home in the broad daylight My flag-covered box of death is lined up with all the rest And if my country can’t see It will be so much easier to make more of me Just bring me home in the broad day light Please bring me home in the broad daylight Let them see so they can be proud of me If I die, Please bring me home in the broad daylight!

To the family of Sgt. P. R. McCaffrey:

I was lucky enough to meet your son during AIT Training at Fort Leonard Wood Missouri last year. Before McCaffery came to our Company I was the oldest soldier at 28 years old, and then Pat joined us. It was a relief to have someone with a head on his shoulder, someone who cared for all of us at C Co Eng 35th. Pat had united all of us when the times where needed. He was a unselfish individual, who put everyone before himself.

Your Son, Husband, and father was a true hero and a leader. I send my blessings to the family.

God Bless America,"
Jason Oliver of Troy, New York

"TO THE FAMILY OF PATRICK McCAFFREY,

I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR SON BUT A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE DID: ANDRE TYSON.

YOU SEE HE WAS ALSO KILLED ON THAT DAY AND I KNOW EVEN THOUGH PATRICK WAS HURT HE TRIED TO HELP MY GOOD FRIEND, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP A SON LIKE PATRICK.

THESE TWO SOLDIERS ARE TOGETHER NOW.

GOOD NIGHT PATRICK SLEEP WITH THE ANGELS.

THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO HELP ANDRE. MICHELLE"

MICHELLE of LOS ANGELES, CA.

“How Could They Do That”…

To Patrick Ryan McCaffrey

You train them and they shoot you in the back

You’ve even warned you think they will attack

But our country leaves you out there anyway

And with your life, you pay-

I knew you more than sixteen years ago

I was at the shop, during the earthquake

While you were on the road

We worked together ‘til I had a wreck

You were always protective, kind and showed respect-

How Could They Do That to you

Leave you out there

Unprotected, disrespected

And neglected-

How Could They Do That to you

When you had a family

You gave your all to a country

You thought you could trust

How Could They Do That to you

How Could They Do That to us…

You spoke highly of your mom

And I told you to walk the line

Be honest and be good, be respectful

To the women in your life-

Big sister to you, my little brother

We took our turns, it’s true

We were there for each other

I am really proud of you-

Life took us different ways

But I hope you know

You had to do

What you felt was right, in your soul-

How Could They Do That to you

Leave you out there

Unprotected, disrespected

And neglected-

How Could They Do That to you

When you had a family

You gave your all to a country

You thought you could trust

How Could They Do That to you

How Could They Do That to us…

I miss your smile

And your joking ways

I hadn’t seen you in years

But I’ll always see your face-

I hope that somehow, I’ll get

This to your mom

She’s so strong

And she’ll soldier on-

How Could They Do That to you

Leave you out there

Unprotected, disrespected

And neglected-

How Could They Do That to you

When you had a family

You gave your all to a country

You thought you could trust

How Could They Do That to you

How Could They Do That to us…

How Could They Do That to you

Their apology isn’t enough…

Copyright 2006 by Teresa M. McCarthy 06/23/06"
Teresa of CA

Hi Nadia

I went to Homestead Highschool and De Anza. I knew Pat through other friends, and always felt he was a great guy.

The reason I am contacting you is that I work in the entertainment industry. A few days ago I was at the Sundance film festival and I happened to see "Road to Faluja." I sell film and tape stock durring the day, as well as working on my own docs.

I was floored to see a picture of Pat in the film as well as seeing how you returned to the middle east to meet with other mothers. I was in tears. I as many others in our class have heard the bad news about Patrick however I was not prepared to see the film, it was tough. After the screening I spoke to Mark the director and explained to him I knew Patrick.

I have to let you know that I was very touched by the film. Mark mentioned that he drive's Patrick's car now. I can't tell you how impressed I am with Mark both as a film maker and a person who who risked his own life to tell a story. I'm glad to have known your son, and even more touched that I met Mark Later in Life through Knowing Pat.

M.L.

Thinking of you today...

Good afternoon. My name is Cari and I was friends with Patrick in high school. You won't recognize my name or face. But he and I were friends throughout our years at Homestead. My maiden name is Mitzman, we ended up being together a lot as our last names were close together alphabetically. My mother met you and your son on an open house our freshman year. She came home and told me how nice he was and how polite he was and how handsome he was and wanted to know why I didn't talk about him when I came home! (It is exactly the reason that makes me think that he did not come home and talk about me!) But I wanted to let you know that he was a great friend of mine. Several of my family members are in the service and have been or are serving now in Iraq or Afghanistan. Please know how sorry I am for your loss, but how thankful I am to you for giving your son for my safety. I hold him in the highest regard. Know that my prayers are with you and the rest of your and his family.

Cari

A Friend From The Past...

Dearest Nadia,

You had been in my mind on and off since the tragic death of your beloved son Patrick.
I listened to you on NPR yesterday, my deepest condolences for the loss of your son.
On Monday, May 25th Veterans for Peace will have Arlington West in Oceanside, CA honoring our fallen soldiers. I will participate and will bring some flowers, and also I will say some prayers on your son's name.

Warmest regards from your long time Friend Silvia who onced visited you at your home in Sunnyvale, and I had the pleasure and honor of meeting your son Patrick.

Many hugs,

Silvia B.

May 24, 2009
Hey Patrick. I remember when we both joined the 579th. You crashed over at my place in Petaluma on that weekend drill. You were a pretty cool dude. I'm sorry you didn't make it out of Iraq. You and your family deserved better. Thinking of you on this Memorial Day Weekend. Semper Fi, buddy.
~ Kevin McNamara, Los Angeles, California

You are missed

/ Thomas Bennett (Friend)

I know it is Memorial Day, I knew it was coming. Somehow, on this day, it always hits me hard in the gut.

You are missed my Friend.

Sgt. T. Bennett

Dear Nadia,

I've been thinking of you and Patrick a lot lately, and of course today, Memorial Day. I feel very honored to know you and so grateful to have you in my life. You are a shining example of one who transforms darkness into light and who continually shows others that it is possible.

I'll be going to the desert to write tomorrow and back on Sunday and look forward to talking to you then.

lots of love,

B.

I miss him

Christopher Ulen (Friend-soldier)

I think about him everyday and as much as I try to get that day out of my head I can't. I did everything in my power to keep him alive but I couldn't. I miss him

SGT McCaffrey,

I won't forget giving you a hard time for sitting on my bunk everytime you came into the tent to talk to Grizzley 2-2. I won't forget the look of your first weapon when we got into country.

I won't forget the night we caught the first two bad guys by the canal on there motorcycle. I won't forget all the talks we had in the smoke pit outside our tents. I will never forget that hot day in June 2004 and everything that took place.

I will never forget the look on your mom's face the day she saw you on the side of the dedication vehicle.

PATRICK, I will never forget YOU!!!! R.I.P. and God Bless your family always.

MSG Adam S Henson

TO THE MCCAFFREY FAMILY

ALL OUR PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU.
THE DEVASTATION YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED CAN ONLY BE
KNOWN BY THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME.

I DON'T KNOW THAT BUT I DO KNOW JUST HOW
DEVASTATING PATRICK'S DEATH IS.
I AM THE MOTHER OF THE SOLDIER WHO DID ALL HE COULD
TO SAVE PATRICK'S LIFE.
HE IS MOURNING PATRICK LIKE HE WAS HIS OWN BROTHER
AND WILL NEVER FORGET THE HERO IN PATRICK IN HIS
WORDS THE TRUE HERO'S ARE THOSE WHO GAVE THEIR ALL
AS PATRICK DID HE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN

SOLDIERS MOM of VIRGINIA BEACH

Retired 80 % Disabled American Veteran

Subject = Patrick

Comments =
I was in the 81st BDE and knew Patrick only because he was a medic and I was a Supply SGT at the time. I had heard about his passing in the Bellingham Herald, and was quite saddened and shocked, ESPECIALLY when I learned what had transpired. He was such a generous soul, and a nice person to be able to call a "friend"......I admire you for what you are trying to do for us Veterans, because it sure does not seem like many people really care about us. Take my situation, for instance. I recently was homeless, with my 5 year old son alongside me. We slept in my van until 3 days ago, when I finally obtained housing ONLY with the help of my 21 year old son, who is sharing the rent with Tyrus and I. DSHS could not help me, Opportunity Council: nope......the Housing Authority, nope.....NO one could help nor had any programs available to house my son and I. I have never felt so low as to having to sleep in my van with my 5 year old for 2 weeks, waiting for a house or!
some other shelter. Why is it that there all these programs to help single MOTHERS and their children, but not ONE available for single FATHERS and their children? It's like they think only female Veterans have housing and other financial problems.....As it is, I have to pay back a lot of people for services they offered while I was homeless with my son. I admire and respect you for what you are doing for us Veterans out here. It is VERY touching and commendable to see that someone cares enough about our plight to actually want to do something about it. I thank you and appreciate what you are doing for us. And thanks for your courage...losing a child has to be one of the, if not the ONLY one, most painful experiences any parent will ever have to face. So thanks for your efforts and what you have been trying to do for all us; Patrick was indeed lucky to have come from such a courageous, persistent, and caring mother. God Bless you and your family......

Sincerely,

J.L.S.
SSG, US Army
Medically Disabled Retired Veteran

Thanks for being a Hero

Randy Lange (HHS classmate )

Patrick and Family

Thanks for your sacrifice--though it breaks my heart that you had to leave us so young and leave your family behind. I didn't know you personally but you have my ultimate respect. We went to HHS at the same time. May your soul now be at peace away from the craziness of the world.

All my Love and Respect

Charles J. Visiting a memorial site today for your son, brings me closer to feeling freedoms cost even more. He would have been two months older than me this year, and I hope another 33,000 people will visit to know the courage that his mother now shows in her ...struggle to help other veterans. The Valley Forge Center, to this veteran, represents hope for the many. We Thank your son for his sacrifice to our great nation, and your dedication to those who have carried Freedom's Torch into battle. God Bless

"To the family of Patrick McCaffrey: May God bless you and be with you....Patrick is in a better place and he will be in your hearts as well as mine. Remember the best times you've spent with him...therefore his memory will never be lost.
We lost our grandson May 29, 2004 in Iraq. They are all Hero's. "Some gave some, Some gave all""
Shirley Stark of Huntingdon Tennessee